“God, if you are real WHY CAN'T I HEAR YOU…?"

How the Lord met with me in a bus.

I got sick and tired of life at a young age. Fourteen, I think. I seriously wanted to jump out of a window to end everything. Out of desperation to find just a shred of meaning in my seemingly pathetic existence I tried seeking God- my supposed maker. I tried to pray. But got no answer. Then i said "If you are real, WHY CAN'T I HEAR YOU?"

Years later, though I've dedicated my life to Him and to some extent ceased despising life, I still felt like I was talking to the wind when I prayed sometimes. He didn't seem real to me. All the things I read my Bible like the miracles, saying if I were sick, i'd be healed that God was going to bless me seemed surreal. Rest for the weary? Where was it? Why do I still feel sad? I thought.

The stories were something I needed to blindlessly believe just because the pastor says it’s true. Sometimes, I still felt like throwing myself out the window or putting my head inside an oven ala Sylvia Plath style!

I knew God was a Spirit- someone my eyes cannot see but I needed to know that He is REAL. I wanted to feel his hand holding mine or hear His answer when I pray. I earnestly wanted to hear Him and If He were real, why couldn't I see Him move in my life like how he did with those Biblical folks?

One very ordinary day, it happened…


I've been waiting in the bus stop for almost 30 minutes and it was starting to get into my nerves. I hated taking the bus going to work espeacially when there's heavy traffic. Some even have roaches. The little critters would just appear on the walls out of nowhere! I was having a miserable time.

Then He came. I felt this unexplainable happiness and peace being literally poured over me till I was filled. You know, the kind of happiness that makes you wanna sing when you’re with someone you’re hopelessly in love with. I couldn't help it so in my head I started singing worship songs I learned in church. The bus finally arrived and as I boarded I wasn't sure why or how but I knew in my heart He was making His presence felt. I sat down with a smile on my face and light heart. The traffic was horrible. I looked around and people were getting impatient. I even saw a roach crawling on the window. But it didn't matter. I was secure and happy with my God.

When you’re in His presence everything is beautiful and all your cares melt away. I looked outside the window and saw the most beautiful traffic jam ever! The cars headlights seemed to glisten like diamond as they honked up a beautiful ballad!

Things changed after that. I still felt depressed sometimes but when I called out to Him in prayer, I would feel Him embracing and comforting me.

Until one day, I've forgotten what it’s like to be sad.

But before I got to this point, there was a time when I disciplined myself to read the Bible and focus myself on Him in prayer for an hour or two every day. I showed how much I wanted to know Him and be with Him. I figured it’s the same thing, when you’re interested in anyone you take time to go “bonding” with that person.

Soon enough, I learned to get used to the idea that He is always with me and therefore I could talk to Him anytime. To be honest these days, I don't have a quiet or prayer time because I know I can speak with Him anytime and anywhere.

Communicating with God should not only be confined in devotions. He listens and answers. We just need to have the FAITH that He is always listening and be conscious of His presence after all He is all present right? He has touched my heart and spoken to me in the most ordinary of places and situations- in the shower, while doing the dishes, while watching a movie, listening to the radio, while waiting for my turn in the cashier. He is interested in your thoughts and mine no matter how irrelevant it may seem to others because you are very important to Him. Yes, He is even a big fan of your blog- He subscribs to your rss feed, comments on all posts and even clicks on your adsense! (haha I'm kidding, but I know you get my point.)

Reading His word is vital in hearing God’s voice. When we have a favorite celebrity, our tendency is to buy magazines with their faces on it, surf the net to see the latest about them, watch all their shows etc. We simply want to know everything about them. The Bible is my all time favorite book. I read it all the time because it has all the information I need to know about God. The things I hear from Him are always aligned to what the Bible teaches. Sometimes, when I am in doubt if it was indeed Him I heard, coupled with much prayer I consult the Bible. If it in any way contradicts any Biblical teaching I discard it.

I will always treasure the day He met with me in a bus. It was at that moment the Lord started to reveal Himself to me in the most ordinary yet special way. Hearing Him isn’t hard after all. We just need to want to know and hear Him bad enough.

Some Bible verses to consider:
Matthew 11:28, John 10:27, Revelations 3:20-21, Heb. 5:14, John 3:16, Jeremiah 1:5