My youngest sister Jenny just got married last Saturday. The ceremony was an intimate civil wedding that took place in our house. Only close friends and relatives were invited. During her last night as a single person, Amy, Jenny and I went to the spa and had dinner (Ivy, my eldest sister couldn’t join us. She was in some important meeting). Jenny and I had a foot spa and pedicure while Amy had a body massage. My feet needed pampering real bad. It’s been supporting me and an extra 2.4 pounder baby. Of course I had my nails painted black again. I can’t imagine myself getting another shade. After the spa, we headed to this quaint Italian restaurant nearby called “Friole”. We are so lucky to be living in Sikatuna Village here the Quezon City, Philippines, spas, restaurants and other cool places are just nearby!
The most important advise I gave Jenny about marriage…
Make God the center of your relationship. Always pray as a couple and as an individual and attend church regularly! Actually, this is the advise I would give any couple about to get married. This is also what I do as a married person. When both husband and wife has an accountability to God, they’re more humble and forgiving. Thus, conflicts or fights can be resolved more easily. Also, we all know how hard times are. Holding on to the Lord and making Him the foundation of your relationship will keep the marriage strong despite problems. As soon as I found out about Jenny’s wedding, I immediately volunteered Butch to be the official photographer. I knew he would love doing it. And he did. Here are two of my favorite shots...
Jenny just looked gorgeous in a purple dress. She kinda looked like Kristin Kruek if you ask me. Our family is certainly getting bigger. Patrick, Jenny’s new hubby is an addition this year. Next year it will be my li’l angel Nigel. By the way, to honor my dad, I will be giving Nigel a second name- “Augustus”. So his complete name will be “Nigel Augustus L. Redaon”! My dad’s name is Augusto. Nigel will be my dad’s first grandson. Amy said adding Augustus made him sound like a Spartan warrior! Jenny will probably have a baby too next year. So that will be two additions. I can just imagine Christmas 2009 in our house! Its going to be livelier and happier than ever with 4 grand kids- Chloe, Iris, Nigel and Jenny’s baby. Time certainly flies fast. It seems like only yesterday when my sisters and I were the kids in the house. And now almost all of us are moms.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Congratulations, Jenny!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Oprah Winfrey the anti-Christ?!
Oprah Winfrey is the most popular woman on T.V. There’s no doubt about that. I watch her show myself. The topics she covers are interesting, inspiring and eye-opening. I like Oprah. She seems to be a kind-hearted and generous woman. I especially love her “Oprah’s favorite things episode” where she literally gives away cars, gadgets and other neat stuff to her audience. However, I recently saw a a couple of YouTube video about her saying that she’s the Anti-Christ! Apparently, Oprah is promoting new age beliefs whose messages are opposed to Christian teaching. I am saddened that Oprah Winfrey is promoting such ideas. I believe Oprah is a good person but unfortunately, these new age ideas have swayed her from the truth. These days, spiritual ideas and teachings all claiming to be the “truth” can be found everywhere. I remember the time when the Da Vinci code came out. The Catholic Church protested because it blatantly questioned Jesus’ divinity. It claimed that he had a child with Mary Magdalene. The church forbade their members to read the book, some even burned it. As for me, I read the Da Vinci Code and I even found it entertaining! While other Christians condemned the book, I treated it like just another story. IT NEVER THREATENED MY BELIEF IN WHO JESUS IS, NOR HIS DIVINITY because I know Him through a personal relationship. I read my Bible and I know who He is. He is real to me. I experience Him everyday as I follow his WORD and ways. I am secure in that.
Do we really know Jesus personally? Or do our beliefs and ideas about Him merely come from what our pastors and church leaders are saying? If so, it would be easy to be swayed by these teachings. Do not suffer from what I’d like to call “spiritual insecurity”. Know where your faith stands. This will not just come from head knowledge you can get from reading and listening. Instead, it starts with a genuine desire to know God. Have a personal relationship with Him by surrendering your heart, mind and soul to Jesus.
My knowledge of Him comes from constant prayer, a lifestyle of worship and study of the Word. It’s not solely based on books, history, or what church leaders are saying.
When I come across a teaching or a revelation, I do not shy away from it. Instead, I examine and test the idea. Also, I pray and consult the Word. If any of its claims opposes anything from the Bible, I discard it. I recently posted something about Judas Iscariot. I know very well that the people who wrote this had questionable reputation. But what made me reconsider the story of Judas was its message of total surrender to Christ and following His will for your life whatever the cost, whatever it takes. This is the very Christian teaching that called out to me as I watched the documentary. Nevertheless, I do not believe all that the Gospel of Judas is saying are true. I just took with me truths I know not opposed to the Bible.
God wants to be discovered by each and every one of us. And if you desire to know God, reach out to Him directly in prayer. He is all- present and all-knowing remember? If He sees your good intentions in finding Him out, God will reveal Himself to you in amazing ways! The Bible says Ask and you will be given, seek and you shall find. With constant prayer, study the Bible- His love letter for you. It has everything you need to know about Him. As I always say, life is an adventure of discovering, knowing and loving God. As you get to know Him, you won’t get enough of Him! And you will be convinced that He is worthy of our love and worship.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Presenting: “NURTURING NIGEL”, my latest blog!
My blogs chronicle things in my life I don’t want to forget and lessons I want to share. From the Eyes of my Heart primarily focuses on my relationship with the Lord and my other interests. I am going to be a mommy soon. So I decided to transform http://butchwendy.blogspot.com into a blog about my journey and learnings on being a parent and wife. It used to be “CRAPWORLD”, an anything goes blog. Now I call it “NURTURING NIGEL”. Here is its Entrecard... 
If you’re a regular dropper here, feel free to drop on NURTURING NIGEL as well and you will surely get a drop back from me =) I am going to get my own domain for NURTURING NIGEL soon so I will not be accepting link exchanges just yet. But I will definitely do link exchanges! Meanwhile I will be posting updates on my l’l angel NIGEL and my thoughts and leanings as a parent.
Monday, October 20, 2008
My baby’s 3D Ultrasound Pictures
3D ultrasound day finally came last Saturday. To make the baby active I drank one glass of mango shake and had my li’l angel listen to classical music while waiting for our turn. I think it worked because I felt him kicking and moving around.
Very excited, I lie on the bed as I waited for my baby’s 3D ultrasound image to flash on the monitor in front of me. It was such a good thing that the baby cooperated. The doctor was able to spot the baby immediately. The first image that flashed confirmed my gut feeling of the baby’s sex. We saw a penis! I am definitely going t have a boy! Now I can really refer to my baby as NIGEL.Then, I saw his face. Lips, eyes, nose all resembled Butch’s! He lay peacefully asleep inside my womb. “That’s what Butch looks like when he’s sleeping!!” I thought to myself. I asked the doctor
“Is everything normal? Are his body parts and all complete?”
“Oh Yes!” said the doctor.
With a sigh of relief, I thanked the Lord for keeping my baby safe despite my us of steroidal medications to control my asthma and allergy. Though he was asleep, Nigel kept moving around. We saw his legs and hands moving. Butch said he even saw Nigel do a sort of peace sign gesture with his hands! He seemed to be very fond of my umbilical cord. He held it and it partly covered half of his face. Could he be possibly aware of that cord’s importance for his growth and development? He probably knows that it’s his connection to me, his loving mommy!
We showed the pictures to my mom, dad, sisters and uncle. They said Nigel also resembled me. I personally think he looks a lot more like Butch. As he slept that night, I put Nigel’s picture beside Butch’s face. I smiled with joy filling my heart as I marveled at the resemblance. I can’t wait to hold Nigel. I am just about to enter my third trimester; I still have a long way to go. The Lord has been faithful in protecting Nigel and keeping me healthy to say the least. I am confident that in Him, I will have a safe and normal delivery.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
The Crapcar, the Crapking and the King of all kings
“You’ll never make me ride in that car again!” I protested. My dad just gave us his old 1980 Celica because he finally got a new car. Butch gratefully accepted but I was disappointed. The old clunker has been with my family since I was in the 3rd grade! For years, my sisters and I have been embarrassed to be seen riding it. The dilapidated car would conk out in the middle of the road. It had no air-conditioning, the upholstery was practically rotting and you’d have to slam the door real hard just to close it. Butch was very excited to get the car.
“This car will look awesome when restored! Besides, the engine is still running well.” He argued.
Butch and I met in our church’s youth group. Honestly, I have no idea what attracted him to me. When I was younger, I didn’t put much effort in how I looked. Never wore make-up, it irritated my skin. Before going out of the house, I just combed my hair and put on something clean (didn’t follow fads in clothes either). I wasn’t even approachable. Many say their first impression of me was haughty and stuck-up. Some people even found me really weird; maybe because my taste in everything was different. In music for example, while everyone was listening to Mariah Carey, Celine Dion, I played my Tori Amos, Fiona Apple and Bjork CD much to my sister’s dismay. Despite my quirkiness, Butch took interest in me. He begun by sending me text messages, we became good friends, started going steady and after four years finally got married. Strangely enough, Butch appreciated things about me most people found peculiar. He is probably the most non-judgmental person I know. He’s very down to earth and takes time to see beyond the physical. For this reason, I started calling him the “CRAPKING”. He seems to “appreciate” things about me most people would find “crappy’. And I became his “CRAPQUEEN”! Our favorite Bible verse then was “ But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong…” 1 Corinthians 1:27I was a mess when the Lord found me- sick, depressed and hopeless. I struggled with many things. I was one of those “Christians” who did something naughty in the weekdays and repented on Sundays only to go back to my old ways on Monday morning onwards. I’ve hurt the Lord too many times. One Sunday in a worship service, I was very ashamed of myself but I will never forget what He told me. “There’s NOTHING you can do to make me LOVE YOU LESS…” I didn’t understand what God saw in me. I deserved to burn and rot in hell for my sins. He is the King of kings. What business does he have minding a pathetic being like me? I did not deserve the love and forgiveness he bestowed on me. He even once said that I was a “dusty rough diamond” that he will clean, cut and polish till I shine and glimmer.
Giving it the nickname the “Crapcar”, little by little we had the Celica fixed. It took some time before it got restored because Butch had to budget the money needed. After six months of continues repair this is how it turned out…
Not bad eh! Even my dad was surprised.
Seeing Butch’s efforts in restoring the car made me very proud of him. To me, the old Celica was a piece of junk ready to be thrown away. It was a source of great embarrassment and shame. But Butch saw its great potential behind the dents, chipping paint and all the damages. The car just needed someone to give it some attention and care.
The Crapking strikes again!
I am blessed to be loved by the Crapking and the King of all kings! Sometimes I feel like I am the 1980 Celica. But like how Butch saw a beautiful vintage car in the Celica, the King of all kings saw me as a “dusty rough diamond”. He looked past my sinfulness and shame. Instead, He sees me as His beloved daughter He created in His image and likeness. Similar to the Celica, I was damaged and ready to be thrown away but His love and acceptance restored and changed me.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
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Monday, October 13, 2008
Nigel’s very first baby clothes!
We were supposed to wait till after the ultrasound before shopping for our baby. But there was a baby stuff sale in SM department store we couldn’t help but check it out. We bought Nigel’s first tie-side shirts, booties, cap, and blanket. Good thing the sales personnel were helpful and attentive. But they seem to be forcing particular brands to us. Perhaps they have commissions in selling particular brands. The booties they offered were 49 Php for a pair. I saw another brand which had the same price but had two pairs. I was about to get it instead but the sales personnel “Ito nalang ma’am” (choose this instead, ma’am). To my surprise, Butch agreed with the sales personnel. I had no choice but to get it. After all, Butch knew how much money we had and the price seemed okay with him. On the way to the counter, I asked Butch. “Why did you let the sales personnel sway you into buying those “overpriced” booties?” I asked kind of annoyed. “I want the best for my son!” he replied.
I want the best for Nigel too but I think that was kind of impractical. Nigel’s only going to use those booties for only a couple of months because he’ll outgrow it quickly. This made me think Butch will have the tendency to spoil Nigel. He always tells me he wants our kids to have what he never had growing up. I know some parents who are like that. Growing up, they felt deprived of certain things. To compensate, they shower their kids with material things they never enjoyed as kids. I hope Butch won’t end up spoiling Nigel because he felt deprived as a child. I know a lot of spoiled kids who grow up emotionally immature because everything they asked for was given to them. But I have faith in Butch. And I will be here to remind him if that happens. I know Butch will be a fantastic Daddy as he is an awesome husband!
Saturday, October 11, 2008
The Cost of following Christ in the lives of Judas Iscariot and Emily Rose
I wrote this after I saw the documentary about the Gospel of Judas in the National Geographic channel. It had very “strange” and unorthodox claims but for some reason it deeply moved and inspired me. Around the same time, I saw the movie The Exorcism of Emily Rose. Surprisingly, I found similar themes with that of the Gospel of Judas that changed my way of thinking. Please read and perhaps it will inspire you too.
Jesus called Judas out of the group after supper. He was about to reveal t
o him what Judas needed to do to follow the will of the Father. The stars were all out that night and Judas remembered the vision he had the other day. “Lord, I had a vision that Peter and the other disciples were stoning me to death. I don’t understand.”
“Do you love me, Judas?”
“Yes Lord, I do. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.” Jesus smiled.
“What I am about to ask you to do will cost you everything. Because of this, people will detest and abhor you for generations and generations to come. But you mustn’t be afraid because in doing this, humanity will be saved from sin and there will be eternal life.”
“You have to give the Son of Man to the sinners. Judas, you need to betray me” Judas shuddered in fear. How can he betray the man who changed his life, the man he loved the most? The thought of betraying the person he most loved appalled him. Judas was scared but his love for Jesus made him do ANYTHING. “Yes Lord, I will do it- whatever the cost, whatever it takes.”
After the failed attempt to rid the demons out of Emily’s body, she fell into a deep sleep. She was awakened by a voice calling her outside the house. She went out and saw a bright light. She followed it. The one shinning brightly in the sky was Mary, the Mother of Jesus. “Heaven is not blind to your pain and suffe
ring, Emily.” Said the Mother “Why won’t the demons leave my body, Mother Mary?”
“I am sorry Emily, but the demons will not leave your body anymore. Right now, you can come with me and your pain will end. But if you choose to stay, your suffering will be great. But through you, many will come to believe again that the spiritual realm exists and God works.”
She looked at her body. The aching and the wounds have gone. But Emily made her choice. “I choose to stay…” Emily fell down and the aching, bleeding, lacerations and wounds came back. The demons continued to torment her.
I am most blessed by the sacrifice Emily Rose, Anneliese Michel in real life and Judas Iscariot made in light of the recently deciphered Gospel of Judas. Many have died and suffered for their faith, but these two endured tasks that were completely unimaginable and out of the ordinary. Judas sacrificed his honor and reputation. We’ve known Judas as the one who “betrayed” the Christ and many have hated him for it. Peter, Paul, and the other disciples were persecuted by non-believers during their time. Nowadays, they are regarded as the Fathers of the Church. We admire their faith and bravery and we follow their example. Catholics venerate them as saints. They are honored as the men of God who changed the unbelieving world. While monuments and works of art are created in memory of these men’s martyrdom, Judas on the other hand is portrayed as the villain, the evil traitor who exchanged Christ for silver.
Before seeing the movie The Exorcism of Emily Rose, I was very surprised to hear that many consider her a saint and people are flocking to her grave for prayer requests! I couldn’t quite marry the two ideas together. Anneliese Michel, a young woman who died of devil possession is venerated as a saint by many. Hmmm it is quite strange to find the words saint and demon possession in the same sentence. It is a known fact that only the “spiritually weak” are vulnerable to demon possession and Michel was a devout Catholic. The big question is why did God allow this devoted girl to be demon possessed? Anneliese Michel’s possession took place in Germany in the early 1970’s. Germany was one of the most advanced and “rational” thinking countries in Europe at that time. Many have refused to acknowledge the existence of the spiritual realm let alone God. The incidence of the demon- possession made the German’s reconsider the existence of the unseen world.
Watching the Gospel of Judas in the National Geographic Channel made me rethink the character of Judas. After all, if he hadn’t betrayed Jesus, redemption would have not taken place. We all have callings in life, It just so happened that this was Judas’ calling. Somebody had to do the “dirty work” of “giving Jesus to the sinners” but I personally believe that this does not make him a bad person. He merely followed God’s will for Him and he had a terrible price to pay.
I was worshiping in Church one Sunday service. I was pouring my heart out to God when he came. He showed me His nail- scarred hand and asked
“Are you willing to do the same for me?” I knew exactly what he meant, He wants me to lay my life completely and dedicate it to Him for whatever work He wants me to do.
For the longest time I’ve been running away from His “call”. When I heard the stories of these two people, I felt so ashamed of myself. All along I kept thinking about myself again. If I respond to His call He might ask me to give up many of my comfort zones. But these two, followed Christ at all cost. For Anneliese, it cost her not only her life but she was tormented by 6 demons who forced her to mutilate and starve herself till she finally died at the age of 23 (the possession started when she was 19). For Judas it cost him his honor and reputation. I firmly believe that Judas is with the Lord right now.
Those who choose to follow Christ at all costs will indeed be asked to sacrifice many things. It is a call to forget oneself totally and be concerned and occupied with the will of God. For God’s plan to take place, there are those He chose to live a life of sacrifice. The reward may not be in this world but for many to be saved one must sacrifice.
The Cost of Following Jesus 18When Jesus saw the crowd around him, he gave orders to cross to the other side of the lake. 19Then a teacher of the law came to him and said, "Teacher, I will follow you wherever you go." 20Jesus replied, "Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head." 21Another disciple said to him, "Lord, first let me go and bury my father." 22But Jesus told him, "Follow me, and let the dead bury their own dead." Matthew 8:18-22
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Project Runway Philippines final three designers
Looking for Philipp's Aries' and Veejay's collection? Click the link below to see videos
Project Runway Philippines final three designer's collection
The exquisite clothes, the excitement of competition and the drama of it all; ever since Project Runway Philippines started airing in ETC-SBN 21 last July 30, I’ve been hooked. Fourteen designers from all over the country battle it out to be the next “great Filipino fashion designer”. Last night, the final three was revealed. Like in the American version, these three fortunate designers will showcase their collection in Philippine Fashion Week (I didn’t know there was such, I am so clueless about our country’s fashion industry!). Here are the three designers who made it…
Veejay Floresca, 23 years old, Makati City
Veejay’s clothes are modern and fresh. Being young himself, he seems to understand what a fashion forward Filipino youth would wear. I like his taste level. He can be avant garde but not too over the top unlike Mara Reyes and Ava Paguyo. Mara’s clothes have a very obvious point of view but I wouldn’t wear her stuff. Some of Ava’s clothes look like they were just pieces of hardened fabric haphazardly sewed and glued together. I find Veejay’s design novel and very wearable. Even if he doesn’t win, this designer has a bright future in the industry. Especially with the exposure the show gave him.
Philipp Tampus, 36 years old, Lapu-Lapu City
Philipp’s clothes are flattering to a woman’s body. I just loved the modernized terno (traditional Filipino formal wear for women) he made in last night’s episode. No wonder he won the challenge. He said it was inspired by the three eras of Philippine history- the Spanish, Japanese and American. The terno was fitted in the waist and he made the traditional high butterfly sleeves removable. I am not surprised that this seasoned designer made it to the finals but amongst the three, his performance was the most inconsistent. He had two wins in the challenges but he was part of the bottom three most of the time.
Aries Lagat, 25 years old, Iligan City, Lanao Del Norte
This designer is my favorite. I’ve looked forward to seeing his creation in the runway every week. I think he will win. Why? Because he’s the most driven (some of the designers admitted they already wanted to go home at one point but not Aries. He always seemed to have a “go get it attitude”). Having the most wins in the challenges, he was in the bottom three only once. His garments won the approval of the judges because of its perfect tailoring and ingenious design.
Another favorite designer of mine was Jaz Cerezo. She should have been part of the final three. I’d love to see her collection in Fashion Week. Her creations are simply girly and delicious! I’d wear the clothes she makes in a heartbeat! She understands what a woman wants. Her clothes remind of Chloe Dao’s and Jillian Lewis’ work from the American Project Runway. My sister and I were having an argument about her. Amy, my sister says she’s gay! I strongly disagreed. But she insisted and even my mom agreed with her. I googled for information and I found my answer in Wikipedia. Jaz’s profile says this…
"Jaz Cerezo - 25 years old from Dagupan City, Pangasinan. An Advertising graduate of Far Eastern University, she studied in Slim's Fashion and Arts School to pursue a career in fashion. She designs wedding dresses and evening gowns.[12] It was subtly revealed that she is a transgender female. - Eliminated, October 1, 2008”-from Wikipedia
I don’t care. I love her clothes and I hope to see more of “her” in the future.
I am enjoying this season’s show. I am a big fan of Project Runway U.S. and even a bigger fan of the Philippine version.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
University of the Philippines- higher learning, students and yummy Streetfood!!
Is it possible for a husband and wife to still miss each other? Oh yes! Though married couples live together, it is very easy to get caught up with things that “needs to be done”. Spending quality time with together is very important.
Lately, Butch has been working overtime. He even worked both Saturday and Sunday one weekend. We missed each other terribly. As soon as he got a chance to take time off work, we wanted to spend time together. We didn’t want an expensive date. Our choice of cheap date venue is the University of the Philippines in Diliman, Quezon City (It's just 5 minute car ride from our house). U.P. or University of the Philippines is an open campus. It is not walled so everyone is welcome to look around.
Strolling along the campus, we enjoyed the fresh air and the shade brought by the tall trees. It is very ideal for long relaxing walks with anyone you want to spend quality time with. Of course there are students, j
eepneys and cars but the grounds are huge! U.P. is actually the biggest university in the country. And when you get hungry and thirsty, street food vendors are in every parking lot. We stopped by in one to buy barbeque, fishballs and Kwek-kwek. Fishaballs are my all time favorite street food. I can eat it even without the sauce. Kwek-kwek is actually just quail eggs in starch coating. Food coloring gives the attractive orange color. My choice of dip for both kwek-kwek and fishball is sweet sauce. Butch ate his isaw with spicy vinegar. Isaw is actually chicken intestine on a stick. The vendors clean and cook it thoroughly otherwise, the customers might have indigestion or much worse food poisoning. They say isaw tastes good. But its still chicken insides! I am not an adventurous eater so I'd rather stay away from it.
We later on visited the campus’s mini-mall. Inside were photocopy shops, boutiques, and dine-in restaurants. Outside the mini mall was a space dedicated to more street food vendors! Here, students flock to get a quick bite after their classes. I looked around to see what to eat next. I spotted my second favorite street food, siomai. Originally a Chinese 
food only found in Oriental restaurants, Filipinos learned to love this delectable dumpling. These days it is found in the streets where everyone can enjoy it anytime. After the siomai, I felt so stuffed already but there was still room from one last treat. Before heading home, I brought corn on a cob on the nearby stall. I ate it that evening for dinner with my pregnancy vitamins.
Butch and I had a fantastic time together that day. We hope to do it again. I can’t wait for the next holiday, perhaps Butch and I will find ourselves in U.P. once more.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
I put my trust in a star-breathing God.
In two weeks time, I will see my baby with the 3d Ultrasound. My dad says it’s a waste of money but I want to be sure that my li’l angel is physically normal. Ten toes, ten fingers and complete body parts. You see because of my asthma and allergy, I was forced to use steroidal medication. The steroids I normally use to control my asthma and allergy is not good for pregnant women. Apparently, it causes deformities on the fetus.
Before I got pregnant, I was praying really hard I don’t get asthma attacks and atopic dermatitis flare ups. I felt no sign of any during the early part of my first trimester. But when the third month came, I started having allergy attacks. I didn’t use any steroidal medication. I knew the baby’s organs were still being formed. I sacrificed feeling the discomfort of itchiness. Until, my lesions got infected. My doctor allowed me to use topical steroids with care. But each time I would use it, I couldn’t help but be worried that it was hurting my baby.
Things got worse on my second trimester. I would wake up in the middle of the night gasping for breath. I was so scared because the baby might run out of oxygen. The attacks forced me to take medication generally not safe for pregnant women. The doctor said we have to weigh the situation. The damage would be greater for the baby if we do not treat my asthma attacks. I am a bit scared of 3D Ultrasound day. Is my li’l angel okay? I would never be able to forgive myself if something turns out wrong because of the medications I used.
I was reading Psalm 33 yesterday. These verses caught my attention
The psalmist trusts his life to God. He is confident that he will save him in his troubles. What was his proof that this God could come to his aid? For him, God’s greatness as revealed in creation is reason enough to worship and trust Him. Can you imagine how great and awesome this God who created the world only by the Word he spoke as stated in verse 6? The biggest star known to man is called the Pistol Star. Experts say that it is 100 times as enormous as the sun we know and is 10,000,000 times as bright! Besides, creating the world with the word of his mouth, God breathed out this incredible star. This is the same God who promised that those who fear him and trusts in his unfailing love will not be disappointed.
Where do I put my trust that my baby is okay ? I definitely cannot trust my own body because it is frail and has failed too many times. Then, I remembered the star breathing God and His promises. This gives me much comfort and confidence. This star-breathing God protects and takes care of my li'l angel. In Him I put all my hopes and trust that Nigel is perfectly healthy.
Friday, October 3, 2008
P.M.S.-ing
I was going through my blogs in my multiply account and I saw this post I wrote about a year ago. Let me share it with you...
For about 3 days in a month, I would feel a bit 
like before I met the Lord. Everything seems to be gray, I loose motivation to do anything, I feel a strong sense of rejection from everybody, being around people is appalling and interacting with a person is just unbearable. The only companions I have would be Fiona's "Tidal" album or Tori's "Little Earthquakes" and "Boys for Pele". I would stay in bed the whole day thinking "Ayoko na. Gusto ko nang mamatay..."( I don't wanna live anymore, I wanna die) On the third day, I would be back in my normal daily routine and enjoying human interaction and just when I thought I am back in the game, I would feel swollen in all the wrong places of my body. I gain about 2 lbs. I would have this terrible headache, and all I would think about is food. These are the P.M.S days. Dealing with it could be bloodier than down south. It plummets me to a depression I’ve longed overcome through the grace of God.
They say it’s the hormones. Guys will never understand this. Most of them say women exaggerate it but I feel what I feel and who the hell has the time to feel crabby in the middle of obligations and deadlines? During these days, I choose not to work (good thing I am self-employed).
When I think about what I went through as a teen-ager, I can’t help but still be sad. It’s a chapter of my life I am ambivalent about. Either I want to erase it completely or be thankful because it taught me a lot about life. Back then, everyday was P.M.S. day magnified ten times! I remember wanting to die. I got a sense of comfort in thinking of ending my life. I would imagine cutting myself or overdosing with pills and how blissful it would be to get out of this body. Tori expressed it so well…
And I’ll go chasing the nuns out in the yard
I’ll run naked in the streets without my mask on
I will never need umbrellas in the rain
I’ll wake up in strawberry fields everyday
And the atrocities of school I can forgive
The happy phantom has no right to bitch -
“Happy Phantom”, Tori Amos
I also remember having this headache all the time to the point that I got so used to it, it felt like it was part of me already. I slept a lot. It was my escape from reality. I would stay in bed and cry my eyes out. When I wasn’t sleepy and just wanted to “get away” from it all, I would take anti-histamines that caused drowsiness. I often took Iterax and Dimetapp (I can’t use them now though, some wise guy reformulated Dimetapp and I got immuned from Iterax).
Blessed are those who are poor in spirit for they will see God
I do not think I would be as intimate with the Lord now if I didn’t go through this experience. This is a very compelling reason why I don’t want this erased in my life. My relationship with the Lord is my treasure. Have you ever felt alone that you feel like nobody cares or understands what you’re going through? You cannot run to anybody and when you try to open up, they’ll just look at you blankly as if you’re talking in a totally different language. Then all of a sudden, you feel so different from everyone else. You have absolutely NO ONE.
You are C O M P L E T E L Y A L O N E.
I felt this way for years. I was at the verge of insanity. At the lowest point of my depression, He came to my rescue.
Where else can I go?
There’s no other name by Which I am saved
Capture me with your grace I will follow you…
As He revealed Himself to me, my depression ended. He is a loving friend who will always cares and listen no matter how petty your thoughts may seem. He is interested because he is all about loving you and letting you know that YOU MATTER. I know He is a big fan of my blog. During worship time, I cry the hardest and sing the loudest (Yey!) It is a mark that I am broken before Him I reckon. I guess brokenness is very important because it reminds us of our weaknesses. And that we ARE NOTHING apart from HIM. This necessitates us to rely on Him completely. As the cliché goes, “When I am weak you make me strong…” Every month I am reminded of this weakness through P.M.S.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
My Top 10 droppers for September
From the Eyes of my Heart's top Entrecard droppers are...
Bittersweet Collide 31
Lofty Matters 31
i Walk u2? 31
Is a Man's World 31
My Notes 30
Mommies Home 30
Pet Rescue Central 30
The Traveling Pants 30
Is 8 Enough? 30
I’d like to thank these awesome bloggers for the visits =) I really appreciate it!! More power to your blogs and God bless you all!
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Pecker, Butch and the beautiful old grimy faucet
The other day Butch and I were watching the movie, “Pecker”. Starring Edward Furlong and Cristina Ricci, the story was about a young man who loves taking pictures in is hometown, Baltimore. Pecker saw art in everything. With an old camera he found in his mom’s thrift shop, he took pictures of two rats making love in the garbage can, his friend shop lifting, his sister pigging out on sugar, graffiti on a wall etc. Anything became his subject matter. An art agent from New York saw his work and loved it. The next thing you know Pecker had a photo exhibit in the Big Apple and was the hottest thing out of Baltimore.
Though I think the movie is meant to be a satire on modern photography, I found it quite inspiring. It may have inspired Butch too. After we watched it, he started taking snapshots of everything around us. And this is my favorite…
Is there art in this ordinary picture of a water faucet? I really don’t know. I’m not the artsy kind. But I have many reasons why I love looking at this photo.
The faucet just jumps right out of the picture making it the focal point. Notice how the background is blurred? It has assorted tones of silver and grey. I’ve turned this faucet on and off many times but I’ve never noticed this before. Each of its components like the screw, knob and snout has a different shape and texture. I think it’s quite fascinating to look at. Sporadically spread on the surface of the faucet is black dirt beautifully contrasting the silver and grey tones. This dirt seems to give the faucet more character. Some parts of the knob are maroon- colored like one of the tiles in the background. And the drip of water hanging on the left side of the knob gives the focal point more interest.
I will never look at this water faucet the same way again. I am amazed how the lenses of Butch’s camera can encapsulate the beauty of something as ordinary as an old grimy faucet.
